Thursday, August 26, 2010

Kinky Carl's Debate Rage

When I decided to start blogging I never intended for my first two entries to be about 'Kinky' Carl Paladino, but this man is truly the gift that keeps on giving.  Paladino's newest outrage comes at the expense of his GOP primary opponent Rick Lazio who has refused to debate the Buffalo-based bestiality aficionado.

For what it's worth, I'd love to see this debate.  In the red corner we would have a guy whose most recent job outside of politics involved serving on the board of Goldman Sachs and stealing TARP money from American taxpayers.  In the really red corner we would have a guy who says he wants to cut NYS spending by 40% but makes most of his money renting buildings in Erie County to NYS government agencies.

The possibilities here are endless.  Here are a couple debate topics that I can't believe we'll never get to witness:

Paladino's idea that minorities on public assistance smell bad and belong in forced labor camps.

Lazio's seemingly superhuman hypocrisy e.g. his ability to hate government bailouts while shoveling millions of dollars in TARP money into his over-sized Armani pockets.

I certainly don't begrudge Republicans their decision come primary day, but I am looking forward to the fireworks over the next couple weeks.  For the sake of political theater we can only hope these two spend every day from now until the 14th throwing haymakers and knocking each others teeth out.  Maybe we can expect a guest appearance by Sarah Palin, playing the part of the Budweiser Round Card Girl.  After the fight is over she can endorse 'Kinky' Carl and they can pose for pictures wearing their matching 'I'm With Stupid' t-shirts.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Genesee County GOP and Shithouse Rats, What do They Have in Common?

Lock up your livestock folks.  Today, 'Kinky' Carl Paladino paid a visit to Batavia, NY to accept an endorsement from the Genesee County Republican Committee.  For those who don't know, Palamino's..err....Paladino' previous 15 minutes of gubernatorial candidate fame came when 's Alan Bedenko broke a story about one of 'Kinky' Carl's favorite pastimes.  You see, Paladino derives some amusement from forwarding emails to just about everyone in his address book.

Now he's not your typical stupid joke/chain letter forwarder; no, he likes to send his friends videos of women performing sexual acts on horses.  Go ahead, think about it for a minute.  I'm not interested in describing the videos in detail, but I'm sure you can imagine.

My question today is simple:  Why the hell would anyone endorse 'Kinky' Carl the Horse-Porn Man?  Local republicans will tell you that he's a militant fiscal conservative who has promised to 'bring a baseball bat' with him to Albany.  OK, I get it, folks around here want lower taxes and smaller government and they think that Tea Party candidates will bring it to them, but was there really no one else?  Are you telling me that there isn't a single other rich white guy in the great state of New York willing to run for governor who wouldn't ogle your livestock with lascivious greed in his eyes?  What does this all say about Rick Lazio's popularity?.

Well, the moral of this story is that Genesee County Republicans are continuing to marginalize themselves ideologically and that's fine with me.  Soon enough, even the shithouse rats will be running for cover.