Chris Collins Thinks Substance Is For Suckers

Submitted for your skepticism.

That's an email sent by Chris Collins to supporters just a few days after GOP Presidential candidate Mitt Romney chose Medicare hatchet-man Congressman Paul Ryan as his running mate. It's not surprising that Collins would attempt to find an attack avenue using Medicare as an issue in the NY27 race since the Ryan budget plan of 2011 received most of the credit for Congresswoman Kathy Hochul's easy victory in last year's special election in a heavily Republican district.

Collins refused to take any position whatsoever on Paul Ryan's plan for Medicare, but that didn't stop him from attempting to turn the issue into a ham-fisted attack on Kathy Hochul. As usual, Collins' latest release is so full of misdirection, fantasy and outright lies that we'll need to break it down point by point.

1:

"Typical Kathy...

She's at it again.  After voting to cut $700 billion from Medicare and Medicare Advantage, Kathy Hochul is back to scaring seniors with half-truths, lies and distortions." 

No one is going to accuse the Collins campaign of having a sense of irony. The cuts Collins is discussing here have zero effect on benefits to seniors. They are aimed at disbursements to providers and the Medicare bureaucracy. The real fun fact about this attack is that the Ryan plan for Medicare contains the same 700 billion in cuts. Collins knows this and even told the Batavia Daily News that the Ryan plan doesn't go far enough with its cuts.

2: The second portion of the Collins email is a donation ask. This is typical for a campaign email from any candidate, a simple link to a donation page that says their opponent is killing puppies and if you want to help stop such disgusting behavior you need to send five or ten or twenty-five dollars right now.

3:

That’s right - she’s the only candidate in this race who voted to cut Medicare - by $700 billion.

That’s the kind of hypocrisy typical politicians like Kathy are known for.  They say one thing at home, but do another in Washington. 

 Kathy Hochul is the only candidate in this race who has ever voted for any bill. She's a Congresswoman, that's sort of what they do. We've already addressed the $700 billion myth, so let's just move on.

4:

We have serious problems ahead of us.  As a result of Barack Obama and Kathy Hochul’s reckless policies of massive debts, skyrocketing taxes and economic failure, our country is at a tipping point.  

Their failed policies have jeopardized the very programs they claim to protect - like Medicare.

There is nothing true about this statement. Taxes are at a 30 year low. Allow me to repeat that: Taxes are at a 30 year low. This cannot be denied. Collins, much like Mitt Romney is attempting to run against a fictional opponent rather than the one standing right in front of him. 

5:

But even worse, their failed policies have jeopardized the the future of our children and grandchildren.

We need to get serious about cutting our spending, reducing the debt and fixing our economy.  To do that, we need serious leaders who will tell us the truth, and not use scare tactics like Kathy Hochul. 

Right, Collins for the kids. What does that statement even mean? Nothing, nothing at all. I'll let you decide who's using the 'scare tactic' here.

6:

We deserve a real debate about the solutions to address these problems.  But with typical politicians like Kathy Hochul who campaign based on distortions and half truths, we won’t have that debate. That’s why we need a change. 

This little gem is the crowning achievement in this communication from Candidate Collins. A fundraising email full of distortions and half truths sent out at the direction of a candidate that refuses to have an public opinion about the issue being discussed is finished off by accusing Congresswoman Hochul of engaging in the same behavior without providing a single example of her doing so.

Chris Collins continues to be a willfully ignorant and purposefully non-substantive candidate. He uses poorly thought out e-mails and press releases to define a platform that doesn't appear to have any planks.

Taxation Misrepresentation The NY-27 Way

Last night in Washington D.C, members of the House of Representatives voted on two separate tax relief extension bills.

First up was H.R. 15, the version introduced by House Democrats. The highlights of this bill were extensions to tax cuts for the middle class through December 2013, a 5% increase in the capital gains tax that would have moved the current rate on self-replicating wealth from 15-20%, a reset of the tax rate on income over $250,000, and extensions of the Child Tax Credit and Earned Income Tax Credit. Local representatives Kathy Hochul, Brian Higgins and Louise Slaughter all voted in favor of the bill which was eventually defeated by House Republicans.

After defeating H.R. 15, House Republicans introduced their own, much shorter, tax bill, H.R. 8. It is shorter because it is simply a continuation of what we're doing now with some minor adjustments to specific amounts. Hochul, Higgins and Slaughter all voted against this bill, but it passed the House 256-171. It will not pass in the Senate.

Now that the background is done, let's look at how the votes on these bills are being used as campaign fodder in the NY-27 Congressional race.

Republican candidate Chris Collins wasted no time before making outrageous and barely factual statements about Kathy Hochul's votes. His statement also included a poorly constructed populist narrative that would only be construed as sincere if you didn't know anything at all about Collins.

First, the substance. In his statement, Collins accuses Hochul of voting 'against extending the Child Tax Credit and the Marriage Penalty Tax Relief which were included in the package passed by the U.S. House of Representatives today.' This, while not exactly a lie, fails to address the fact that Hochul voted for extending the Child Tax Credit in the Democratic version of the tax relief bill. This signifies that she is not opposed to the Child Tax Credit, but instead to the extension of tax breaks for millionaires. Marriage Penalty Tax relief is a misnomer at best. There was never a tax penalty for being married, only a lack of incentive to file jointly if spouses had significantly disparate incomes. Hochul supports what is essentially a return to the Clinton-era tax structure, with some extended benefits for the working class. Collins is apparently demanding that she support the status quo, which is an unbelievably dense position since the only thing we can all seem to agree about is that our economy sucks and things are terrible.

Collins then goes on to say that 'Official records show that Kathy Hochul may be one of Congress’ more wealthy members, having disclosed assets that total between $1 million and $2.3 million. In addition, Hochul and her husband, an Obama political appointee, together jointly earn over $325,000 annually, placing them in the top 1.5% of earners in the United States.' I'm not sure I've ever seen a more ironic statement from a candidate, so let's break this down.

Collins seems to be donning his populist costume here, but it doesn't fit very well. This attack on Hochul probably needs to be fisked sentence by sentence so let's drag our Bull-Shit-O-Meter up from the basement and get to work:

Sentence 1:  'Official records show that Kathy Hochul may be one of Congress’ more wealthy members, having disclosed assets that total between $1 million and $2.3 million.'

On a bullshit scale of 1-10, this statement ranks a 9.5. The only reason it wasn't a perfect 10 was because there actually is a financial disclosure document that details Hochul's assets. The rest of this sentence is nonsense. Although 2012 comparisons including liabilities were not readily available, using the best information at my disposal, it took me about ten seconds to learn that the 'official records' referenced by Collins when compared to other members of Congress actually show that Hochul is most likely in the bottom third of House members when it comes to wealth.

Sentence 2: In addition, Hochul and her husband, an Obama political appointee, together jointly earn over $325,000 annually, placing them in the top 1.5% of earners in the United States.

When I applied my Bull-Shit-O-Meter to this statement, something strange happened. The needle swung back and forth between 0 and 10, metronome style. I was confused until I realized what the problem was: I had the wrong tool. I opened my drawer and there, nestled between the Sarcastoguage and the Snarktimeter, lay my Irony-ometer. It was just what I needed and when I applied the tool to this statement, it promptly exploded.

As it turns out, the numbers used in Collins' attack on wealth are correct, but the sentiment is not. Collins seems to want you to believe that he is both Robin Hood and the Sheriff of Nottingham. There is no sincerity whatsoever in the Collins position on this issue, in fact, it assumes that you, the voter are a misinformed, zombie, coma patient...but I digress.

The Collins statement goes on to accuse Kathy Hochul of working for the government. We'll have to assume (since we are all morons) that Mr. Collins actually loathes the idea of being a Congressman and that he's just doing it because Jesus told him he had to...or something...

After that, Collins prints a list of generally bullshit talking points that were prepared by his party's majority on the Ways and Means Committee.

I feel like I'm going to be doing a lot of these little pieces on the nonsense coming out of the Collins camp between now and November, and I'm not going to let Congresswoman Hochul slide either. I absolutely detest inanity and obfuscation in political campaigns.

The Siren call of bullshit, smirking accusations seems to be too much for Collins. He simply can't help himself. He and many members of his party think their wobbly platform is enough to win as long as they can get their rabid base foaming at the mouth and the under-informed centrists to believe the nonsense.

Sadly enough, they may be right.

Chris Collins Writes A Letter

It's almost August. Too soon for anyone to care much about local elections, but not too soon for candidates to start making ridiculous statements about one another.

Enter Chris Collins and a letter he wrote to Kathy Hochul dated today, July 31st, 2012. In it, he calls on Democratic incumbent Kathy Hochul to support an extension to the 2001 and 2003 middle class and small business tax cuts and to break with the President 'just once' in order to do so.

Apparently, Mr. Collins, despite all of his self-proclaimed business acumen, has failed to learn how to count. Representative Hochul was one of only 18 house Democrats to vote with House Republicans in favor of a $46 Billion small-business tax cut last April. 

In fact, Representative Hochul, according to her congressional voting record is actually one of the most conservative members of the Democratic Caucus, voting with her party only 82% of the time. By the numbers she is the 24th most conservative Democrat out of the 192 currently serving in Congress.

As for the middle class tax cut extension, it was Representative Hochul who issued her own press release four days ago calling on Mr. Collins to support tax cut extensions for American workers.

Now, here's the important part: Middle class tax cuts don't mean the same thing to both candidates. The 2001 'middle class tax cuts' that Mr. Collins is referring to are commonly known as the Bush tax cuts that reduced tax rates on income over $500,000 roughly 3%.. When you watch MSNBC or listen to liberal talk radio, you will hear this rate commonly paired with the phrase, 'The wealthiest one percent of Americans.' These tax cuts were originally scheduled to expire at the end of 2010, but were extended after President Obama made a deal with Congress that included an extension to his own payroll tax cut as well as guaranteeing long-term unemployment benefits.

When Representative Hochul, who supports a marginal tax increase on top earning Americans, calls for extended tax relief for the middle class, she means the payroll tax cut, in place since 2010, that reduces the amount you pay the Social Securtiy Administration by about 2% and puts roughly $20-40 per week back into the pockets of  work-a-day Americans. Extended out over a year that's up to $2000 dollars extra for the average wage earner, or, in layman's terms, about 100 big boxes of diapers. This cut can accurately be described as 'middle-class' because no one in America pays a dime in social security taxes on income earned over $110,100. I doubt the Collins family ever worried much about the cost of diapers.

This game of dueling press releases cuts directly to the core of modern American politics. Our politicians do their best to run out a string of banalities designed (by professionals) to appeal to the lowest common denominator. In short, this stuff isn't complicated, but you have to want to understand it. Politicians and their handlers assume, correctly, that you don't want to understand it. You're getting what you paid for with regard to our level of debate.

Candidates like Collins and Hochul are becoming the norm.

Collins is a wealthy, empty suit who came to the fight armed with talking points about an economic policy that only works in a vacuum or an Ayn Rand novel. He's not John Galt, and neither, by the way, are you. You're not even Hank Reardon.

Hochul, like many Democrats, is bad in a different way. She makes the same assumptions about voters that Collins does, but instead of challenging them to raise their level of understanding she relies heavily on cliche. The tragedy here is that Hochul is actually very good at her job as a Congresswoman. She genuinely cares about constituents and she never misses an opportunity to communicate with people directly. Sadly, the Hochul campaign differs dramatically from the Hochul reality because she has chosen to fight on Collins' home court. No one ever told her that you can win an argument against a person who stubbornly refuses to have any clue what he's talking about.

What's the result? Two separate communications from candidates coming four days apart that look nearly identical but are addressing completely separate points.

We're not having a debate about the benefits/drawbacks of certain economic policies. We're not talking about the wars we fight. We're not talking about the weakening American middle-class. We pretend to talk about those things, they are listed as issues, but honest discussion isn't happening and it's your fault.

Don't let Chris Collins pretend to be the savior of the middle class when his entire platform is essentially a plan to protect some bourgeois notion that a wealth class hoarding money is also creating jobs for the poor. Don't let any candidate for office get away with answering your questions with a talking point from their own website. Life in America is bad and getting worse for almost all of us and our political class is being intentionally useless while we drown.

Pssst... NY27 Republicans, We Need To Talk

Grab a chair, make yourself at home.

Listen, we really need to talk.

Wait, where are my manners? Would you like something to drink? Beer? Single malt? Fine, have it your way, let's get down to business.

You know primary day is tomorrow. You also know that I'm not into your agenda, but for just one day I want us to be on the same team.

What I want, what I've always wanted from government, is honest representation and I'm still young and stupid enough to believe that that there isn't an inherent contradiction there. I don't define 'honest representation' as having a President/Senator/Congressman/Dog Catcher that agrees with everything I think. I don't need my representatives to spend all day doing the bidding of my personal ideology and I hope we're all adult enough here to agree on that point...at least in theory.

What I do need from my representatives is a standard of professionalism, intellectual honesty and an understanding that their only duty is to their constituents and their country. There are no noble bloodlines in America. The people we elect to serve us are raised up from our neighborhoods and cities. We send them off to the seat of power with our trust and hopefully our good will because that is how a representative republic like ours functions and thrives.

There is no noble class in America, no single person is born to serve in government, our representatives choose to do so and we, in turn, choose them.

Tomorrow, your party will be making a choice. It's not a simple one, at least not on the face of it. I've spent a fair amount of time trying to distance myself from this thing because I didn't really see it as any of my business. It doesn't matter to me ideologically who wins tomorrow. When asked about it, I've generally said that the difference between Chris Collins and David Bellavia as potential Congressmen will be maybe a few votes no one will ever hear about deciding issues that no one cares about. In essence, you're choosing one suit and pair of dress shoes over another if all that's important to you is a party line vote.

I already told you, though, that those things are secondary.

Republicans, you have an opportunity here.  You are being presented with a choice between two men who will do the same job. You don't have to make difficult issue decisions, so you are now afforded the opportunity to make a simple personal one. You get to choose the better man.

Whatever you may think about your current representation, you have to know in your heart and your mind that Kathy Hochul has conducted herself with class and dignity during her first term in Congress and you also know that she'll continue to do so if she is re-elected in November. Obviously, you folks will be trying to unseat her but only one of the two men you are choosing between tomorrow has a track record that proves he will match Congresswoman Hochul's comportment.

David Bellavia is a person who understands honor and integrity. He knows what those things mean and more importantly, he knows that conducting himself in a manner that both extends and accepts respect is the most basic function of a person who is selected to represent so many of his fellow citizens.

Chris Collins is none of that. There is no noble class in America, but Collins lives his public life like an entitled Prince sneering at the peasantry. His behavior has been well documented. He has demeaned female members of his staff in public. He has conducted private business in his government offices. He even parks in handicapped parking spaces to save his dainty feet from having to make a few extra steps. He puts on a costume, specially purchased, in order to relate to the plebeian farmers in our rural towns and he barely deigns to acknowledge that primary voters have a choice other than he.

There is no noble class in America. Money buys a lot of elections, but it doesn't have to buy this one. You don't have to worship the businessman if the businessman represents the worst of human nature. A prince may be a member of the nobility, but that doesn't make him noble.

Go. Vote tomorrow. Vote for a man who served his country honorably. Vote for a man who shares your ideals and will not stray. Vote for a man who will serve with dignity. Vote for David Bellavia.

If you do that, we can spend the next five months discussing the issues that are important to us. We can fight about whether Bellavia or Hochul is better for our district and we'll know that whoever wins, we'll have an honest and dignified representative in Congress. Government will roll along forever; nothing is going to change that. Let's take this opportunity to enter a general election season where we know that we'll be able to be proud of our congressperson, whether we agree with them or not.

One Week to Primay Day, Does Anyone Care?

No debates.

Almost nothing on the advertising front.

Somewhere there is a man in a chicken suit. Cluck, cluck.

Chris Collins' strategy may be working. Bellavia and his people have been tossing legitimate bombs at the former Erie County Executive for weeks now, but no one seems to care. Christ, I love this stuff and I can barely force myself to muck through a blog post about it.

Sigh.

What happens next Tuesday? A few thousand septuagenarian Republicans will shuffle off to the polls. Maybe some will wheel themselves to an afternoon game of bridge afterward. Big doings on Primary Tuesday.

Among the conversations that won't be had between now and the 26th:

"What's for lunch, Myrtle?"

"How the fuck should I know, Herbert? I'm too busy comparing all the information I have about these two candidates so I can decide who to vote for."

No debates.

These poor, iron-haired party faithful have no idea who they're voting for.

Chris Collins' strategy is working.

GLOW Fun With Chris Collins

Thanks to @BuffaloPundit and @HeyRaChaCha, we had a little fun on Twitter today with Chris Collins' clueless attempts at pandering to GLOW region voters. I'll keep this updated with the good ones. The hashtag is #CluelessCollins, enjoy.

Hey Hicks, Chris Collins Is Just Like You

Chris Collins bought some jeans last week and The Buffalo News just had to report on it. I never would have seen the blurb if my friend Alan Bedenko over at Artvoice hadn't picked up on it yesterday.

Since this is stupid is so many ways, I'm not going to launch into a thousand-word diatribe about how Collins is a dick and is wholly incapable of connecting with or understanding anyone outside of his circle of Spaulding Lake dilettantes. Instead, I thought it would just be fun to wonder what Chris Collins thinks of us, the hicks, rubes and hayseeds out here in the GLOW counties.

Without further ado: Overheard on the Collins campaign trail, GLOW region edition:

-- "Jesus, what's that smell? Is that the fertilizer stench they kept telling me about?"
    "No, Chris, we're in downtown Batavia, there aren't any farms here."
    "Hmmm, must just be the poor people. What kind of pants do they wear?"

--"You guys are farmers, huh? So do you have, like, a general store, or do you barter for goods at the fair?"

--"Hi, I'm Chris Collins and I need your vote so I can go to Washington.  Waaawwwww-ssshhhhinnnngggg-ttttuuuuhhhhhnnn."

-- "I just bought a brand new pick-up truck so I can connect on a personal level with Pa Kettle here. Let's fill it with heavy stuff and drive somewhere."

-- "Let's make this one quick. There is no way I'm taking a dump in an outhouse."

-- "Oh, this is your cousin? How many kids do you guys have?"

-- "Haha, look at these straw hat wearing yokels. Hey, Cletus, where's the rodeo? Wait, what? YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A FUCKIN' RODEO?!?!? Oh....My....God....what the fuck is wrong with you people?"

I could do this all day, but I won't because it's stupid. You know what else is stupid? Chris Collins' attempt to be 'folksy' in his hick costume.

Collins Gives Order To Fire Mother Of Four, Bellavia Benefits

The Buffalo News reported on Saturday that State Sen. Michael Ranzenhofer fired an office employee and mother of four at the behest of Chris Collins, a Republican candidate for the NY-27 Congressional seat. According to the Buffalo News report, Michelle McCulloch of Attica said her employment at Ranzenhofer's office was terminated because of her support of Collins' primary opponent, David Bellavia.

McCulloch, a mother of four, is a member of the Wyoming County Republican Committee which has officially endorsed Mr. Bellavia in the ongoing primary. The incident that reportedly got her fired was nothing more than a meet and greet in Wyoming County (also attended by Collins) where she introduced David Bellavia around the crowd.

Ms. McCulloch is also a member of Bellavia's campaign steering committee, an extracurricular activity that had previously drawn the ire of her boss. Despite Ranzenhofer's demands that his staff remain neutral in the primary, his state senate office employees were asked to pass designating petitions for Chris Collins. McCulloch told the Buffalo News that she had performed this task despite her support for Bellavia.

New York is an 'at-will' state meaning employees can be terminated at any time for any reason. Companies are not required to provide an explanation for personnel decisions like this one.

Chris Collins has a history of committing acts that force voters to question his ability to respect his fellow human beings. There was the rat thing in Buffalo, then there was the handicapped parking space incident, the reportedly fear-based working environment in the Erie County Executive's office, and any number of other transgressions that constantly lower the public's expectations of Chris Collins ever acting like a person who respects others. Asking a State Senator to fire a mother of four who has served faithfully for years under multiple bosses falls right into the pattern of typical Collins behavior.

David Bellavia is expected to address the allegations against Collins and Ranzenhofer today in multiple appearances around the district.

Bellavia, who has received the endorsement of Republican Committees in every rural county in NY-27 should see this as a windfall for his campaign. Primary elections can be difficult to run because voters often have trouble, for obvious reasons, discerning the differences between two candidates who generally espouse the same ideology. These typically low turnout races will always come down to money and organization unless a clear line can be drawn between candidates. Bellavia has an opportunity now to draw that line using Collins' borderline behavior to ask primary voters to choose the kind of person they want representing them in the upcoming general election. I don't imagine the man who ordered the revenge firing of a working class mother is going to be able to acquit himself well on-stage in a debate with Congresswoman Kathy Hochul.

Image courtesy of Tom Dolina at Tommunisms

27 Things About NY-27

1: I still can't stop calling it NY26, just like I wrote 2011 on my checks until April. So, If I screw up and type NY26 trust me, Brian Higgins is safe.

2: Who cares about David Bellavia's water bill? Bob McCarthy of course and probably some voters. Bellavia played this well by employing the 'just regular folks' defense but tight-ass primary voters will take late payments into account.

3. Chris Collins is an asshole. I have never seen this point refuted.

4. Kathy Hochul's 'Yes' vote on CISPA was either the result of electoral politics or a complete lack of regard for individual citizen's personal privacy. Since the average voter in NY27 doesn't know what the hell CISPA is... Well, you do the math.

5. Oh look, there's a primary for the Independence Party line. Chris Collins vs. someone you've never heard of. This happens because of New York's fusion voting system. Fusion voting simply means that minor parties are allowed to try and play kingmaker so major parties need to find willing sacrifices to primary people like Collins on a ballot line that no one gives a damn about.

***UPDATE: Never mind about this, Collins couldn't get enough petition signatures to get himself on the IP ballot line. See thing number three.***

6. Summer is almost here and no one is going to pay any attention to this race until September.

7. Chris Collins ignored a rat infestation in Buffalo. If you want to know why, see thing number three.

8. David Bellavia was awarded a Silver Star. Silver Stars don't automatically make a person right for Congress.

9. Chris Collins doesn't have any Silver Stars, but he does sit on the board of a medical research company. The likelihood of some Collins mouthpiece telling us that the former Erie County Executive is working on a cure for cancer is high. Being on the board of a research company doesn't make a person right for congress, and the doctors in Australia are the ones who are actually working on a cure for cancer.

10: At some point during the primary, Collins is going to have to say exactly what I said in thing number eight.

11: If Collins says what I said in thing number eight, he's going to be painted as an uncaring anti-veteran candidate.

12. If things number ten and eleven actually happen it will be because Chris Collins is an asshole and he can't help himself. See thing number three.

13: Kathy Hochul has spent more time in the GLOW counties in half a Congressional term than both her predecessors combined.

14: Hey, remember when Chris Lee showed off his nipples to Washington DC's transsexual Craigslist users and then the nation? Man that was funny.

15: However the Republican primary shakes out, the general election may very well come down to how much NY27 Republican voters hate Barack Obama. There really won't be any other reason for them to leave their houses in November.

16: In 2008 the Erie County Republicans promised David Bellavia their endorsement the next time this congressional seat came open. Two elections later they still haven't honored that promise.

17: People in the Monroe County portion of NY27 don't have any reason at all to give a damn about this race. No one has seriously asked their opinion in years.

18: Chris Collins opened a Twitter account this week, but you should follow @DWICollins instead; he's more fun and more likely to tell the truth.

21: Jack Davis mumbled something a few weeks back about starting a SuperPAC for David Bellavia. He'd better get right on that because Bellavia is having serious trouble raising money.

22: Elections are all about money.

23: Chris Collins has the most money so even though thing number three is sad, funny and true, it doesn't actually matter.

24: Chris Collins is unpopular in the GLOW counties because he's unlikable. David Bellavia has never done anything noteworthy in the GLOW counties other than live there. Kathy Hochul gets bills passed in Congress that streamline the labor hiring process for GLOW farmers.

25: Chris Collins lost his Erie County Executive re-election bid last November. Kathy Hochul has never lost an election. David Bellavia has never cracked the 'serious candidate' plateau.

26: I never thought I'd actually make it to twenty-seven things and I've been secretly re-writing the title of this piece inside my head since thing number six.

27: If you're reading this and you're a Republican, see things number three, seven, nine, ten, eleven and twelve. The last time we sent a wealthy, male business asshole to congress, we ended up having to look at his nipples on the national news. How many nipples is it going to take before you people learn?

Chris Collins Has A Problem

Let's say you're a candidate running in the NY-27 Republican primary. You wake up in the morning, yawn, maybe take a gratuitous scratch or two at your nether parts and meander into your bathroom. You turn on the sink faucet and slowly look up then........ BAM!!! Your entire day has just been ruined because the face staring back at you from the mirror waiting to have its teeth brushed is none other than the highly unlikable ignorer of rat infestations, former Erie County Executive Chris Collins.

It's ok, you think to yourself. I have a ton of cash and the might of the Erie County Republican Committee behind me. I'm unstoppable.

So, you finish brushing your teeth and take a shower. Things are starting to look up. Even though you were unceremoniously tossed out of office by the voters of Erie County just a few months ago, you know you're going to have an easy time getting elected to Congress in a newly drawn district. You're certain that Democrat Kathy Hochul's win in last year's special election was a fluke and nobody is going to stand in your way.

You start to whistle as you swagger through the house toward the aroma of fresh-brewed coffee. As you pass through the dining room you notice the table is covered with newspapers from all the towns and cities in the congressional district. This irritates you just a little because back when you were the Erie County Executive, you only had to read the Buffalo News, but now every morning you're forced to skim articles about 4-H competitions, farm labor and myriad other things that happen in the muddy places outside of Spaulding Lake.

On top of the news pile is the most recent edition of the Batavia Daily News. You pick it up and skim an article about Congresswoman Kathy Hochul doing useful things for farmers. You scoff at the idea, turn to page 2 and right there plain as day is a story about your Republican primary opponent, David Bellavia, announcing the members of his steering committee. Bellavia has received the endorsement of every rural county in a district that has become more pasture than pavement. His steering committee is made up of  rural county Republican Committee whip crackers, heavy hitters and true believers and the article suggests that more of these people are showing up every day, volunteering for an opportunity to make your retirement from politics a permanent arrangement.

You are Chris Collins and you have a big problem.

A Rural Take on Erie County Politics

**sings**

It's the most...wonderful tiiiiime of the year

...unless you're an elected official attempting to cobble together a budget in the midst of a recession economy.

In Genesee County we've had our budget fight and we've approved ~140 million dollars in spending.  A great man had to sacrifice his job to keep a world renowned alternative justice program away from the fiscal guillotine for one more year, but we got it done.

Our neighbors to the west in Erie County have had their own budget drag 'em out this year.  In one corner, they had County Executive Chris 'Null and Void' Collins and his personal staff of well-trained lapdogs..errr..republican legislators and in the other corner stood County Comptroller Mark Poloncarz, democratic legislators and the law.

The territory being fought over is cultural spending (hippie art crap in republican parlance,) libraries (pronounced liberrys if you've never been to one,) and staff cuts at the County Comptroller's office (the independent auditing agency that keeps Chris Collins honest.)

For some background from an Erie County blogger or two in the know, follow these links:


http://wnymedia.net/buffalopundit/2010/12/erie-county-government-bucks-collins-process-termed-absurd-insane/

http://wnymedia.net/buffalopundit/2010/12/2011-county-budget-getting-ready-for-more-rumbling/

http://wnymedia.net/smith/2010/12/the-politics-of-cuts/

http://wnymedia.net/buffalopundit/2010/12/le-comte-cest-lui/

http://wnymedia.net/buffalopundit/2010/12/on-ending-the-three-tiered-three-ringed-circus/

I have neither the time nor the inclination to go very deep into Erie County's situation and most of the folks who read this little page don't either, but I think a few points about good government need to be made using the antics of Chris Collins as an example.

We'll start with the question everyone asks me when I bring up the Erie County situation:  'Chris, why is County Executive Collins such a tool?'

Well, I don't know the answer to that.  Maybe he was born that way.  Maybe his mother didn't love him enough.  Maybe it's been too long since his last lapdance.

What do I really think?  Well, it's almost time for him to run what promises to be a tough re-election campaign and I find it fairly obvious that he is attempting to do as much damage to potential opponents like Mark Poloncarz and Kathy Hochul as possible while fortifying his suburban base.  See Chris Smith's story for a more in-depth breakdown on partisan politics in Erie County.

As an interested observer in this situation, I can't find any logical reason, other than the political one, for Collins to act in the manner that he has over the last few weeks.  He told his constituents the cuts had to be made to hold the line on taxes.  Fine.  So, democratic legislators submitted budget amendments that kept the culturals, the libraries and the Comptroller's staff intact without a tax increase, then passed them all.  In response, Collins declared the amendments submitted by democrats 'null and void.'  He may have also been overheard saying, 'Neener-neener,' and 'I'm rubber, you're glue, fuck your amendments.'

Erie County certainly isn't the only cesspool of a-hole politics to be found in today's America, but it's a great case in point.  To hell with good government, to hell with representing the populace and to hell with anything resembling common sense.  It's all about the next election.

I'd like to say that there's a fix for this, but there isn't.  Mr. Smith is never going to Washington.  He's never going to Albany or County Hall.  Mr. Smith will be damn lucky if he can afford to put gas in his car so he can go to his McJob.  That is why I find it particularly disgusting when a guy like Chris Collins insists on operating only within the boundaries of his next campaign which, I assure you, will not include making promises or even listening to the sort of people who need after school programs or pregnancy prevention and certainly not the folks who need public libraries so their kids can do schoolwork etc...

Let's leave aside the liberal hippie spending on social programs, the arts and libraries though and focus for a moment on the most politically charged portion of the Collins cuts.  How in the hell can it be legal for an executive to unilaterally slash the staff, budget and ability to perform of the the only department in Erie County that has a chance of keeping him honest?

Over the last six years, Comptroller Poloncarz's office has conducted 51 audits and major reviews, some of which were not kind to the Chris Collins regime.  Collins only gives the Comptroller credit for four.  I suppose it's possible that the County Executive was too busy  waving his finger in Kathy Hochul's face, forgetting he's met a US Senator  or engaging in various other forms of poor behavior that he simply didn't notice the other FORTY-SEVEN audits...no, never mind, it's not possible; Collins is just lying.

We can expect the bullshit level in Erie County to continue climbing over the next year.  Over here in farm country we may have to start wondering whether that smell next summer is fertilizer in the fields or Chris Collins opening his mouth 20 miles west.