Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Chris Collins Has A Problem

Let's say you're a candidate running in the NY-27 Republican primary. You wake up in the morning, yawn, maybe take a gratuitous scratch or two at your nether parts and meander into your bathroom. You turn on the sink faucet and slowly look up then........ BAM!!! Your entire day has just been ruined because the face staring back at you from the mirror waiting to have its teeth brushed is none other than the highly unlikable ignorer of rat infestations, former Erie County Executive Chris Collins.

It's ok, you think to yourself. I have a ton of cash and the might of the Erie County Republican Committee behind me. I'm unstoppable.

So, you finish brushing your teeth and take a shower. Things are starting to look up. Even though you were unceremoniously tossed out of office by the voters of Erie County just a few months ago, you know you're going to have an easy time getting elected to Congress in a newly drawn district. You're certain that Democrat Kathy Hochul's win in last year's special election was a fluke and nobody is going to stand in your way.

You start to whistle as you swagger through the house toward the aroma of fresh-brewed coffee. As you pass through the dining room you notice the table is covered with newspapers from all the towns and cities in the congressional district. This irritates you just a little because back when you were the Erie County Executive, you only had to read the Buffalo News, but now every morning you're forced to skim articles about 4-H competitions, farm labor and myriad other things that happen in the muddy places outside of Spaulding Lake.

On top of the news pile is the most recent edition of the Batavia Daily News. You pick it up and skim an article about Congresswoman Kathy Hochul doing useful things for farmers. You scoff at the idea, turn to page 2 and right there plain as day is a story about your Republican primary opponent, David Bellavia, announcing the members of his steering committee. Bellavia has received the endorsement of every rural county in a district that has become more pasture than pavement. His steering committee is made up of  rural county Republican Committee whip crackers, heavy hitters and true believers and the article suggests that more of these people are showing up every day, volunteering for an opportunity to make your retirement from politics a permanent arrangement.

You are Chris Collins and you have a big problem.

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